Entry tertunda lama dahulu.

It hurts like hall, yes it was and always will be.

Dear u,
Thanks for all the ups and downs.
Thanks for being there when I needed (notice the past tense here) a shoulder.
Thanks for all the words that made (again, the past tense) my life more wonderful.
Sorry for the chaoses (?) caused by me huh?
Sorry for always clinging to u. Silly me.
Sorry for the words u could not take.
I pray for all the happiness to be yours, someday I will.

Yours sincerely (so and so),
I

Bukan membebel.

Setelah sekian lama, akhirnya presenting...
Wohaaa rasa macam sangat pelik untuk kembali menules di sini. Well, time flies. I am now a graduand, even it is still unofficial but the feeling is so woww. After few years of not-so-hardwork, i could feel the sensation of the so-best-feeling ever. Ok actually, i am not being honest about the feeling. Yeah, we are still in doubt, whether to proceed with the hons programme or not. Its either being a student (again) or having the feeling of yes, im the teacher and you are the student. To stay or not to stay. To proceed or to back off. The decision-making is tough, really. Of course, the pros and the cons are there. But after all, who is the boss? Is it the pros? Or the cons mungkin?


... And the decision has been made.

Blissful years ahead insyaAllah.

In 3 months time, I'll finish my study insyaAllah. Pheww cant wait. Then, what comes next? Kalau ikutkan logik akal, hidup macam smooth saja. Belajar belajar belajar then bekerjaya. Balas jasa parent. Bina (?) keluarga. Tapi realiti bukan seindah yang dilihat pada luaran. Dalam setiap kesenangan, ada kesusahan. Memang tercatat dalam our manual guide as a muslim kan? Yang kita kejar hanyalah dunia dunia dunia. Akhirat selalu terabai. Astaghfirullahala'zim. Sempena bulan ramadhan ini, aku bersyukur di atas setiap nikmat yang diberi. Alhamdulillah. Aku bersyukur di atas segala rasa sakit dan dugaan yang Allah swt timpakan. Alhamdulillah. Semoga aku menjadi seorang muslim yang lebih baik dari hari ke hari.
Random
Ini antara soalan cliche yang bakal ditanya (aku assume):
1. Dah habes belajar ke? Bila kerja?
Aku berkhidmat dengan MARA. kalau dia panggel berkhidmat, bermulalah hidup aku sebagai seorang wanita bekerjaya ehem ehem.
2. Belajar jauh jauh, jadi cikgu saja?
Ok. Seriously aku emo kalau orang cakap macam ni. Heyy MARA yang support aku sepanjang pengajian, so I cant see any good reason why should I breach the agreement. Tanpa cikgu, doktor peguam akauntan takde tahu. I start falling in love with my future profession. So what? Ok jangan buat aku emo sebab aku memang emo kalau aku emo.
3. Soalan cliche habes. Bila nak kawen? Orang laen dah, kamu bila lagi?
Phewww pheww kurniakan aku kesabaran Ya Allah. Jodoh ajal maut di tangan Tuhan. Kalau ditakdirkan jodoh aku sebaek sahaja tamat belajar, aku terima. Kalaulah jodoh aku lambat sampai umur lewat 20 an sekalipun, aku terima. One thing for sure, Im not interested anymore with the lovey dovey thing. Aku impikan satu relationship yang serious ( bukan tak bergelak ketawalah maksudnya), penuh rasa responsible dan bukan main main. Biarlah Allah swt adalah tujuan kami untuk hidup bersama. Ha something like that lah. Im trying to have faith in love after marriage. Redha Allah swt is a MUST in order to build one happy family (at least this is what I believe).

Till then, bye!

faith

memasuki fasa kedua semester pertama mungkin sesuatu yang menggembirakan hati. dan mungkin jugak sesuatu yang membebankan hati. gembira sebab? lepas final exam (first semester), im gonna back home. yeeha! beban sebab? bukankah di setiap hujung semester ada exam, barulah pihak universiti gembira nak lepaskan kami bercuti.

tapi tapi tapi. bukankah Allah swt berkata dalam surah al-baqarah ayat 86 bahawasanya

"Allah tidak akan membebani seseorang melaenkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya.."

So, what is there to worry about? as long as we have faith in Him, insyaAllah semuanya akan ok. but but but, of course I should play my role as His hamba to get His blessing. Emmm lets study smart, pray hard!